Happy Birthday to my Darling Gracie! I love you!

weird weird

feeling weird...
always hate dis kinda feeling...
feeling a lil down...
i'm just tinking too much...
stupid me...

Gracie goes to Korea and ShangHai

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10

10's the amount of days you'll not be wif me, but overseas.

the previous school camp was like 4 days and i'm oreadi missing you like so badly, and now dis trip is like 10 days, i reali wonder, how difficult is it gonna be, however it is, i'll wait for you to come back, i hav to, and i will...

life wifout you isnt fun at all, reali so boring, couldnt tok to you, couldnt see you, couldnt laugh around wif you. it reali sucks being so far apart. but i wan you to enjoy urself, miss me,tink of me and take very good care of urself okays?

u'll reali b missed dearly n badly, reali hope dis 10 days would fly pass real fast...

i need you
i want you
beside me...

i miss you my dear gracie...
i love you

im sorry, my love for you has just grown too much

darling, im sorry, i feel reali bad n lousy, i just couldnt cheer u up just nw. i tink instead i made it worse...im reali so sorry!

darling,my love for u has grown so much,reali way beyond wad i expect,n ure becoming more n more impt to me in my life,im sorry i reali cant help it but to keep tinking n tinking abt consequences of everyting,im beginning to get more n more afraid of losing u,i trust u,i reali do,its nt u my dear,its just me...i tink im being too paranoid,contradicting,trusting u n knowing dat we will go on n on n never seperate,n dat i shld leave everyting in God's hands,but yet im still afraid of losing u...
ure...just too impt to me...
i'll keep holding onto u...
im sorry for being like dis,if i get overboard,tell me,give me a big slap on the face,wake me up...

darling,i reali want u to chase after ur dreams,i want u to b happy,chase after it wifout any worries,becuz i'll reali work hard to make sure i can provide for us n our families in future,i'll always b supporting u in wad eva u do...

daryl has grown,matured n reali noe how to tink for u for myself for our families,for our future...making decisions arent as easy anymore,i need u by my side in every decision making...dat'll work best not ony for me,but us...

daryl loves grace
alot...

111009

gonna slp soon

glad baobei's got new fone, somemore is iphone!
hah! yay! finally can sms lers! and use a proper fone ler baobei! xP
feel so happy for u and for us! hehes

woke up early in the morning, went to church, church ended went for lunch wif baobei, my parents, and my aunties! hehes...noisy noisy aunties huhs baobei? =P today's ony a preview...u'll noe more realli sooon...

after lunch went over to my place, studied a lil physics wif baobei, baobei hope wad i tried to explain and taught u today will reali help for tml's eoy physics, i tried my best, i noe u're tired, i'm sorry kaes, its all my fault, never let u slp, and yet kept accompanying me, sometimes i feeeel reali bad, but i noe u're happy even thou, i also she bu de ask u slp...ok i'm contradicting lers...i just want u to b happy...but yet i wan u to be healthily strong, ok i must reali learn how to be firm lers... >.< i'm sorry baobei...for ur sake n our future's sake kaes... studied! okays, den we went to amk n had dinner wif baobei's family! had baobei's dad's frens around, okay, dinner was reali great! gosh, many many fooood again...lol!cannot finish... =X hor hor...waste foooooood!

and after dinner, went walking around baobei's neighbourhood, spent some quiet time tgt, singing, laughing, and some reali lovely moments tgt, hehes, walked around den back to baobei's house for awhile..........and finally back home.....!

had a reali great day wif u again my dear, every moment we spent tgt reali felt great...u're reali so sweeeet, i'm so happy we're reali getting along well, growing stronger and stronger tgt as each day past, as we get to noe each other more, everyting reali starts to gel n bond tgt, i'm reali happy...thank you my dear...你最棒!


ahhhh! accidentally deleted previous post! >.<

270909

i'm reali so happy!

080909

i'm serious abt you.
i'm serious abt us.
lets make dis happen...

its been weeks
its been months
it had been a yr
since we first started to communicate
i'd all along never thought we would be where we are now
in the beginning, all i thought was, you're still young, that our age gap was quite a difference.
i'd never had confidence in myself for a long time

as we continue to noe each other more each time we hang out tgt, each time we msg or tok to each other
i felt dat, there were similarities between us, and that what i've always wanted n needed, was, in you.
appeareance, character, behaviour, public relations, ambitions, movements, thinkings, family.
they started to attract me towards you.
more and more as time past.
we began to hang out more often, msg n tok more often.
the more i noe abt you, the more attracted i am towards you.
our difference in age doesnt matter, because our maturity lvl are almost the same...
i'm not reali mature while you, matured! for ur age
16, i respect your decision, although initially u told me 21, i went crazy for a while, hahahaha
i'll wait, and we'll make use of dis period of time to make everyting rite kaes.
we'll continue to hang out everyday (when ever i book out)
we'll continue to msg n tok everyday
we'll learn, grow and mature together

and of cause, we'll hav to put God first, in dat way, our relationship would be planned nicely by God
put first the kingdom of God, and God will plan everything nicely for us

walk hand in hand tgt
the rest of our lives

you're sweet
you're adorable
i feel so comfortable when i'm with you
i feel so happy when we chat

i'm sensitive
i'll get jealous de kaes!
even small stuffs!
but i trust you...
because you're impt to me
part of me already.

i'll work hard
i'll improve
i'll build a gd future
for you and for me, for our loved ones too

and finally...
i love you
i'm serious...

im not tinking right,pls help meeeeeee!hais...

im sick n tired of being myself, i noe as a christian i shldnt b tinking like dis, im like totally out of confidence, did i drop it somewhere?!ive lost what i hav in ABUNDANCE in the past,i no longer noe how to ecpress myself,i dunno how to approach pple,tok to them n keep conversations going...im so afraid of being rejected.i just wanna go hide myself,why many others hav n i dun,how i wish my family's rich again,dun hav to shoulder any more burden,every mths' salary just disappear when it comes.
i dun wanna complain,but at the same time,im exploding soon!
ive always wanted to b wif dis special u,im sorry,although i reali wanna get to u,but i cant do anyting at the moment,its nt abt u,but abt me,it reali hurts knowing u hav dis special feeling for dis special person n yet u cant do anyting abt it,i cant provide for u yet,i dun wanna see u suffering being wif me,it may b alot better if theres someone better den me.....but i promise,i'll work damn hard in the future,i'll neva let anyone down,family,frens...everyone...n u...
i dun hate anyone for being in dis state nw,i still love my parents as much,no,even more...
God,please,help me...i'll b praying hard every day,get me back to who i used to b,im sick n tired of putting a facade everyday.
my heart aches every moment,to see pple close to me suffer,i love u dad n mum,i love u everyone...
im sorry to disappoint everyone of u,but dis is wad i reali feel,i just dunno how to express myself...too difficult...too hard...i hav to gif up many tings becus of my limitations, let alone my dreams,for nowwww.......

200609

woke up in the morning, uber tried can! >.< lias was like still slping =P hah! ok...had lunch together wif lias and my mum den prepared to go out den POOF! i'm out! off to church office! missed prayer meeting cuz i was like wake up late?!?!?! zzz...GG...ok split up wif lias at city hall, he went to his church and i went to mine...saw ryan(NS fren) and had a cool chat wif him, he had dis reali cool mechanic cigar, doesnt need lighter and it still produces SMOKE! wth! lol! amazing...
den when i reached church office, the prayer meeting hasnt ended, so i sat down behind started to pray in tongue a lil, den as the prayer meeting was abt to end, XueLing jie asked me to the center to pray for me, in the beginning was only for the match tml, yes...lead my team i will...den later XueLing jie went on to my spiritual life...Thanks XueLing jie...i was touched...it hit me...deep inside...Army of God...Bigger Mixer for a Bigger Congregation...Take away all the disappointment in the past years...i teared...it hit me deeeeeeeep within...yes...i'll run and chase all of u guys...i will...
den it was to the service, praise and worship, oh gosh...i felt it was a lil too loud...but i couldnt bring down the volume, i just couldnt, because the feeeeeel was just too strong! too strong! ahhh! but it was GOOD! xP and to the testimonials (today there wasnt any preaching), u guys were GREAT! there were reali GOOD testimonials. Thank God.
ok...i left church early because......i have to attend my cousin's 21ST BIRTHDAY PARTY! hah! welcome to club 21 cousin! =D ok her actual bdae is on the 22nd thou...advance...advance...party was great and...as we were abt to leave...lols...cousins were caught behind, all had to drink or rather "TAH" a few cups of bacardi + vodka + sprite...lols...i had 2, shaun had 2, kenneth had 3 to 4!!! LOL! cuis....but shiok! =D

sadded...

i seriously dun understand, but i would like to apologise to u again and again, i'm sorry. i reali dunno wad i did thou, i reali dun hav any bad intentions, i just wanted to make friends, i'm definitely not using u, and i'm not that kind of a person.
being too close...
last nite its not that i've got nth to talk to u abt, its just that i was feeling down, emo, saddd, i wasnt tinking straight.
like is DARYL reali like dat?
is D A R Y L reali like dat?
its reali heart aching for me ba...u said we're too close...den u tink of me till dis bad...u dun understand me ba...i neva even took a step to get to noe ur frens better...u needed accompaniance, i tried to acc u...thursday after dismounting from duty...i was like super shag tired...yet when u asked me to acc u...w/o hesitating i said ok all the way till nite...den i dropped dead at home...
i just hope u would forgive me ba...u dun hav to understand me...its not easy ba... =) friends forever?

190608

slping the whole day, pang seh-ed teens, SORRY! >.< den as i was preparing for lunch, WEIWEI called me out for lunch! damn! cant u b any earlier! ok den i prepared and went out to meet him. Had swensens, we had the same dishes... -.- ok...lols. i went home, lied on my bed and went zzzzzzzz...

alistair came over at nite, we slacked awhile den went for a movie at Causeway Point! Blood The Last Vampire -.- crappie show, action part was NOT BAD, but the story line was crappie, the ENDING WAS CRAPPIE! what a waste of money... -.- ok and now i'm back blogging, going to slp soon. uber tired! yawns! GD NITEYS!

my future

hmms, my future seems so uncertain, i noe God will prepare the best for me, i wanna b a audio engineer, audio technician, stage producer, event manager, IT specialist, network and security specialist, my interest, my interest! i wanna earn MONEY! LOSTSA MONEY!

As for my spiritual life wif God, for my ministry, i'm gonna put in my all, i want to in fact. just give me some time, i'll run and chase u all! to build God's sanctuary together...

first confessions

i'm not a flirt or a playboy, i just wan to socialise. i wouldve start flirting around if i wan to, but i just dun see a point. although i really wan to hav someone there for me, but i'm not ready for a relationship, i dun hav the confidence, i have many problems/restrictions/limitations of my own.

i'm giving up going around like a despo(although i've never been one), i'll just lead a normal plain life.